I Was Saying Boo-Urns

Years ago, in the town of Springfield, USA, there was a film festival. In effort to win the festival's top prize and - in turn - the adoration of his fellow townspeople, the resident century-old billionaire, C....

No Excuses

I woke up last Monday to a troop of cub scouts using my intestines to earn their knot-tying badges. My head was caught in a vise. My limbs weighed more than the 2003 Kansas City Chiefs' offensive line. It was a...